MY STORY PART FOUR- 8TH GRADE

This year is more of a blur for some reason. 8th grade was when I got hooked on drinking and smoking. The first time I smoked was, never would've guessed it, AT CHURCH! haha. but its true, and (funny sidenote, so I was kinda blonde, and it was my first one, so I accidently lit it upsidedown, yeah its true lol) Anyways! but sometimes my mom wouldnt be home so I would go next door to this guy named Brandons house and drink. Also at night I would sneak out and go to parties. At school I would smoke with Courtney in the bathroom, we got told on once, but never actually caught. I HATED smoking, I only did it to fit in, or to look cool.

By fall break I had had enough of Deer Creek! I was soo fed up with everything it was doing to me. The drinking, the smoking, the cliches i had to fit in with, all the guys taking advantage of me, and I wasnt even learning that much! It was pointless and stupid. So I asked my mom to take me out and try this correspondance homeschool thing called American Academy. After Fall break I just didnt go back to school, the first few weeks were good, I was enjoying the time with my mom at home all day, and the time away all those fake people i called friends.

By Spring break I had had enough of homeschooling! I was behind on my work, fighting with mom (not that it was her fault, but anytime you spend TOO much time with someone, you start to bonk heads) So, after a while of begging I returned to Deer creek after Spring break. This was when I went from goth or emo, to 100% prep!! I died my hair platnum blonde, I went and got Abercrombie, american eagle, and hollister clothes that were WAY too small for me! And wore too much make up, pretty much looked like a slut.

Well, because of the way I decided to dress every morning my mom would correct me (out of love) and say I needed to change clothes. OH MY! The fights began, I wanted to wear what I wanted to wear! So... I would wear something she approved of, and just stick my other clothes in my bag, at the bus stop I would go behind some trees and change clothes, or just wait till I got to school and change in the bathroom. I was determined to get the guys attention now.


This was also the year I got in trouble alot. I got in a huge fight with Courtney one time in the bathroom, got detention for that. And skipped class or was just tardie many times, detention for that. I once cussed out a kid in class, got a week of detention for that! things just werent going my way. All I wanted was to be accepted, and all I was getting in was just a huge mess!

But with all this I was still cutting and hating life. I hated what I was doing, who I was with, what I was wearing, what I was saying, etc etc. I was not happy with the person I was. So, I started bringing my razor blade thing to school so I could cut my wrists whenever I needed too. One of my "friends" lauren decided "out of love" she would tell on me. Well needless to say, they found it, and I got out of school suspension for the last 2 weeks of school. .

wow, next is 9th grade, here comes the drama.