MY STORY PART SIX- 9TH GRADE (2ND HALF)

I kept going to school, believing the lie, this is just the way it is. I was practically Houston's slave, I would sneak off at lunch for him, I would sneak out at night for him, and just what he said goes. Back then, I would've never admitted that he was controlling or manipulative, but now I see it so clearly.

Not even a month passes by before my parents find out. A friend that found out, told their parents, who called my mom. I was frustrated and scared. I didnt know what to do or what to say. My parents of course were extremely upset. November 3rd, 2005 was my last day in a public school. Because of my crazy behaviour, my parents said it was the public school that was presuring and influencing me. More than anything this made me mad. That was the one place I could go and pretend to have friends, kinda feel popular, and get my social high. Now that I was home I felt trapped.

I continued to see Houston. At night, on the phone, and on occasion my parents would let him come over. There are alot of mixed emotions here, it was kinda a bittersweet relationship now. I didnt like how controlled I was or how used he would make me feel, but because he was my first, then I just had this sense of attachment. For some reason, I felt like the person I lost my virginity with was the person I had to marry. I tried with everything in me to make it work. But time after time, we would scream at each other and brake up and then get back together. He would make me feel stupid and push down my self esteem. There was alot of internal damage in this relationship. But I just kept holding on.

Finally in the spring we broke up. I really wasnt sure what to think here. I actually dont remember much of the rest of this year. I do remember I was VERY rebellious, I fought with everything I could find to fight about.

Sorry if this was a short and boring post, The next will be 10th grade.. alot more interesting!