MY STORY PART TWO- 6TH GRADE

I remember in the fall of the six grade wanting to go to a public school soooo bad! I had never gone before, and really wanted the experience, the friends! One November night I was sleeping on the floor of my brothers room, (company was staying in mine) and I stayed up all night praying to God to tell my mommy to put me in Deer Creek. That was my dream! To be a normal school girl. I was only 12 at this point.

December 9th, 2002 was the first day I layed foot in a public school. I had soo many butterlies and anxiety! Walking in with a purple velvet shirt with fur around the sleeves (i wanted to look rich lol) and had soo many questions "what will the other kids think of me?" "will i fit in?" "Is this really what I want?". The principle paged another student to come welcome me and give me a tour of the school, where my locker, and all my classes were. Then, I went into my first class, deer creek was still a small school, so a new kid, was a BIG deal! They all crowded me and asked me questions, I felt like I was IT! I was trying to answer each question perfectly so they would like me. .

Well, my popularity didnt last long. I wasnt informed on all the cliches in school! My, it was like everyone was enemies! I just didnt understand! I just wanted to be friends with everyone, why did I have to chose? So after a month I wasnt so cool, people started realizing who I was and just rejected. I became the loser of the school and started wearing black and being goth or emo. I started cutting my wrists, it just felt like the right thing to do.

By February 15th, 2003 I got my first REAL boyfriend. A guy from church, his name was Reggie. He was 14, I was still 12. By April 16th, 2003, I shared my first kiss with him. This was what I needed! I found it! The solution to my rejection, my hurt, my pain. Maybe if I just keep kissing and getting physical affection, then I'll know, I'm really loved.

Next will be 7th grade, where things at school, start winding out of control!

love you guys :)